Raising a family with a positive body image mentality

“I can’t eat that, I am watching my calories!”

Sound familiar? If you are a woman in her thirties, you probably remember this phrase being said A LOT back in our day. You may also remember the big hype around the Atkins diet or TV shows that ridiculed characters who were known as the “fat girl.” Although our society has come a long way with body image awareness, there are still some kinks that need straightened out and it starts with us mamas!

Growing up, I remember the diet culture well! The main method of losing weight was cutting out carbs and running on the treadmill for hours to be skinny. Even though I don’t disagree with the concept of weight loss and the simple math and science that is involved, I very much disagree with the way it was presented when I was in grade school and in my teens. As a mom with two children, it is extremely important to me that I set an example that eludes a POSITIVE approach to health and wellness.

So what is body image? Body image is a concept that refers to the way you perceive yourself physically and mentally. When it comes to having a positive body image, it is the ability to accept one’s self no matter what season you are in. And remember, it is perfectly normal to have something that you’d like to change about yourself! We will probably always have something to work towards, but if we develop a healthy balance of acceptance and discipline to reach a functional state of health, that’s where the body positivity shines through!

Let’s go back to where my negative body image was in full force. During childhood, I grew up in a fairly healthy household. My mom was very handy in the kitchen and always cooked up healthy dinners with protein, carbs and a veggie. We rarely had dessert (nothing wrong if you are a dessert family! It was just something we didn’t have on a daily basis) nor did we ever keep sugary cereals in our pantry. I remember on one or two occasions, my sister and I had to beg our mom to let us buy Cinnamon Toast Crunch and to us, it was a special treat. I will say though, my cereal of choice these days is just a nice, hearty bowl of Cheerios with a sprinkle of sugar on top! I did however, raid my next door neighbor’s snack cupboard whenever I got the chance. I think the fact that our family was “healthy” by nature instilled good habits for my future self, but I do recall a lot of conversations revolving around negative body image. If I was in a phase where I weighed more than I usually do, the immediate thought in my head would be to cut calories and exercise excessively. "I need to watch my calories” was repetitive. I rarely appreciated my body for what it was doing for me, which was functioning properly and carrying out physical tasks with ease! Instead, I could have told myself that I love my body, but I think I want it to be a little stronger! 

Moving forward to my college years, this was the time that my restrictive behaviors were to an extreme. I wouldn’t eat anything considered “high fat” or “high carb.” I was constantly counting calories so I could determine how much time I needed to spend at the gym to burn off what I did eat. I continued this unbalanced lifestyle on and off for several years. It wasn’t until I shifted my MINDSET and realized that when I FEEL good, I will LOOK good…not the other way around.

So now that I am a mom, I have to think about how I wish to illustrate what health means to me and my family. Kids will not only watch what we do, but they will also LISTEN to what we say. I don’t want to be the mother in the household who tells herself that she needs to go on a diet or critiques the rolls that hang over her jeans. Instead, I want to accept the season that I am in and develop a routine that works for me! I want my kids to understand that food is fuel and how it helps our bodies perform rather than how it makes us look. I want to buy clothes that I feel comfortable in (even if I go up a size) and show my daughter that the clothes wear us, not the other way around! I want to share that physical activity influences our mental health and promotes better sleep! Most importantly, I want my kids to look back on their childhood and feel a sense of appreciation for what their bodies could do and not how their bodies made them feel. The change starts with us!